1# of Fillet Mignon and a baked potato

1 pound of Fillet Mignon and a baked potato.

Sounds like the makings of a good meal. The fillet was prepared just the way he likes it, (if he had ever had it before), bloody rare. It was wrapped in bacon, and had that delicious striping that adds to the flavor. The baked potato was an Idaho baker. It was of a moderate size, and slathered with butter. It was tender, buttery, and soaked up the blood from the prime meat as was the intent.

Both, the Fillet Mignon (with its bacon wrap) and the fluffy, white potato, were cut into small, bite-sized slices, and mixed together with care. After all, this was his last, and perhaps best meal of his life.

Would there be dessert? Yes, if he could manage it. A bit of Butter Pecan ice cream would be offered, and likely lapped from the bowl with gusto. On any other night, it would be unthinkable, but not tonight. This is, after all, his last night on Earth.

We wanted this to be a special meal for a special friend, our dog, Scooby. We found out this morning that he has cancer. His prostate is greatly enlarged. It is interfering with his urination, and more. His sleep is interrupted hourly as he struggles to make it out the door to relieve himself again, and again. He is chiper, even played with his ball today in the sunshine on his lawn.

Today, we agreed to release Scooby tomorrow, before his existence becomes a kind of torture- before we wonder if we were selfish. Today we chose to be good stewards of our friend, and care more for him than ourselves.

I learned this lesson many years ago, while I lived with Kharma, my brown tabby who reached the ripe age of 19. She truly had a lovely, and loving life, but her death was a prolonged and painful one. She died of a tumor in her brain. In the week before I finally relented to my own painful lesson, she suffered without need. I just didn't understand why she pressed her head against the walls and floor boards, writhing. I did learn from my stupidity, and know now that it is my responsibility to be vigilant to the condition of my loved ones.

My heart is heavy. I am tearing up. I don't know how I will do this again. I know I must though. This is the compact we have with these spirit-guides, these creatures who love us. We must be vigilant and love them enough to release them when it is time. The word "compact" started the tears again. That contract is tacit. They cling to our sides and comfort us when all others fall away- all humans desert us. They are faithful. I MUST be as well.

Scooby, you are loved, and will be missed with my whole being. I hope to see you on the other side, my friend.

Love, your buddy, Tim

an ABSOLUTE Fringe reality

I am very excited to announce I am starting a monthly LGBT music event, to be held at The Elbo Room (2871 N. Lincoln Ave. Chicago, IL 60657)on the LAST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH, starting Sunday, January 30th, 2011.I will be held from 8 to Midnight and will feature 3 queer bands on the lower level stage, and 3 acoustic acts on the first floor stage.

We will feature bands from the Chicago area, but also some surprise acts from other major cities, (and small towns- maybe even Hooterville!).

Thus far, the response has been great. ABSOLUTE Fringe has been embraced by our community, and I must say the enthusiasm of Brian Bender, the General Manager and Talent Buyer for The Elbo Room has been nothing short of surprising. In my years of playing in straight clubs, I have always had to convince the club. Brian came to us. Brian has said that he believes he has booked L acts, G acts, B acts and even T acts at the Elbo Room. But with ABSOLUTE Fringe, he is going to get 6 LGBT acts in one fabulous night!

Stay tuned for more surprises. Chicago's biggest night of queer entertainment may have more surprises up its poofy sleeves. And keep the last Sunday of the month open in all of 2011.

Cheers!
Tim Cain