BE20- 20 Years of Boys' Entrance

1991. That is the year I traveled to San Francisco and met up with an old paramore, Jon Ginoli, who had just returned to Illinois to record his first Pansy Division demos. I was the first gay musician Ginoli knew- having been introduced to me as the lover of a DJ on staff at WPGU FM radio. Ginoli had been program director during a period when I had songs by my band, Talltrees in rotation at the station. During a rough patch in my relationship Jon and I met up at an Ultravox concert. (Jon reminded me of this detail when we met for a drink in 2008 at Twin Peaks, in the Castro. I forgot that detail. But more than that given Jon's taste in music, I just can't imagine him at an Ultravox concert.)

Jon and I only hooked up a couple of times. I was a Fundamentalist Christian at the time, as was my DJ boyfriend.I was wrapped up in self-hate, conflicted, and defensive about religion. Jon would have none of it and I believe thought me a hypocrite. Maybe I was? Maybe I was living a paradox.

Jon and I worked off and on together for years as managers in record stores. We worked at the same gay bar, and we even competed as DJs at local gay bars. I moved from Champaign to Chicago in 1987, and he moved to San Francisco shortly after that, I believe.

So, I met up with Jon again in 1991, while visiting the city on vacation. I made my way over to his apartment, and he played me songs on his six-string acoustic, and newly recorded demos. I feel out laughing. The songs were so funny, and political, and baldly straightforward. had never heard anything like them in my life. Jon didn't seem to take offense at my laughter. In fact, he laughed along. It was a hoot.

I traveled back to Chicago and almost immediately set to work on my first Boys' Entrance album. I felt spurred on by Jon. I felt empowered to drop the universal pronouns and become straight forward when addressing queer life. Even so, the first Boys' Entrance album, "Exit or Entrance?" is a transitory work. There are definitely songs that address gender like, "Fetching Dress"; the closet ("Overcome by Taste"); same-sex attraction ("Yellow Sun"; and AIDS ("Searching For a Thrill")- but the songs are not as straight forward as what Ginoli had achieved.

The album was completed in 1992. I made cassettes of it. (It has never been released on CD or digitally.)I am hoping one day to release it in its entirety, but for now a taste will be made available on, BE20, our new double CD compilation. "Yellow Sun", "Light In The Darkness", "Fetching Dress", and "The Ballad of Freddie Mercury" (from the eponymous E.P. recorded shortly after the first album was finished) will open disc one.

The remainder of disc one will highlight songs from the second Boys' Entrance CD, "In Through The Out Door". (The title was intentionally meant as a broadside to rockers who venerate their Led Zeppelin. Ho9 dare these queers appropriate a Zep title!)

The songs featured are, "The Happy Wanderer Goes Gay"- our most popular track in terms of downloads- this song is an instrumental. I am trying to not take the fact that the song is the most downloaded track and that I don't sing on it as a slight, but then again, I am the sole performer on the track. As on Exit, I like to include a couple of instrumentals on each B.E. album. This one is a bubbly slice of electronica.

"Baby Crawl" is the Boys' Entrance Declaration of Independence. It is an existential assertion, but it is about the first steps of political pride, hence, Baby Crawl.

"Daddy Do Go Down". I guess every baby needs a Daddy. As a "daddy" today, I view this song differently. These two songs are joined forever in my mind. Cie Fletcher drops the bomb as lead guitarist of Boys' Entrance on this song. Amazing!

"Richard Don't Think"- a song I wrote while at the record store with Ginoli, for Sylvester! Ginoli hated dance music, so one afternoon, I did a master class for him of Sylvester essentials, but it didn't leave a dent. While in New York, 1987, I had dinner with Sylvester- a neat bit of manifestation- and even told Sylvester about the song. The title is from my sainted grandmother who was fond of saying, "a stiff prick has no conscience". She did not approve of my song- even if she was the "genesis" of it. As for Sylvester, all he had to say about it was, Honey, if I want to say dick, I say DICK!"

"Soul In A Box"- This song was about fear of losing my own soul, but in retrospect it became about AIDS. I fought Fletcher to get him to play on this track. I could not understand why he didn't want to do it. He ultimately relented and laid down a terrifying slide guitar tour de force. I guess it was all too close to home for my friend. He died not long after of AIDS. But at the time, we had no idea he was even sick.

"Snowman"- This is just me on this track- and became my first "Rock Single of The Week" in Billboard Magazine. I submitted the CD, and out of the blue, I got a call from Larry Flick enthusiastic and excited to write a review. He asked me what the single from the CD was- something I had not even thought about. So I turned it around and asked him to choose. Larry selected one of the least commercial tracks on the CD, but I suppose that tells you something about Larry's idiosyncratic tastes. The song is about a relationship I was in where my partner had ceased to be my lover- had iced over, so to speak. He was the Snowman, but it is set somewhere cold like Colorado- the hate state that led the charge against gay unions.

My next blog will talk about Disc Two.

Love On Ya!
Tim Cain

New old song

I unearthed an old song from 1983 today, "Not a Person". The lyrics seem apropos of the OWS movement.

Not A Person c 1983 Tim Cain

You won't find my name in a phone book
I'll never have a post office box
You'll never see me with a hand full of keys
You'll never see me buying stacks of CDs

I'm not a person, oh no
Not by your standard, oh, no, no, no
I'm not a person, oh no
Not by your standard, oh, no, no, no

Seems I can't find me a good job
I'll never get to buy a new car
I'll never have enough for a mortgage
For a pretty little house with a yard

I'm not a person, oh no
Not by your standard, oh, no, no, no
I'm not a person, oh no
Not by your standard, oh, no, no, no

Bridge-
Is it Reagan?, Is it Carter?
Is it Thomas "Tip" O'Neal?
Is it unions? Point the finger
I only want my next meal.

You won't find my name in a phone book
I'll never have a post office box
You'll never see me with a hand full of keys
You'll never see me buying 3D TVs

I'm not a person, oh no
Not by your standard, oh, no, no, no
I'm not a person, oh no
Not by your standard, oh, no, no, no

I am still working on an update- especially for the bridge.

Tim

Drums Between the Bells

http://www.wired.com/underwire/2011/07/brian-eno-drums-between-the-bells/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+wired%2Findex+%28Wired%3A+Index+3+%28Top+Stories+2%29%29

This is the stream of the newish Eno cd, "Drums Between the Bells". I am enjoying the feel just two tracks in, more tension than any recent Eno or Eno collaboration in recent memory.

I love the second track, "Glitch". He is working his space jazz groove here. Definitely reminds me of his work with U2 on Zooropa, but also dips back into a Bush of Ghosts territory as well.

I love the ambient compositions too. For me the juxtaposition of the spoken word performances call to mind Laurie Anderson's work, especially on "Seed Pods"; and the Vocodered girls voice of, "The Real".

"Sound Alien" is actually the title track. It is an adrenaline rush of rhythm I would love to be the sound track of a cutting-edge roller coaster. I swear he has been listening to imaginary 1970's soul-detective dramas.

But "Dow" featuring Eno's own voice (I believe) is actually the update I have been waiting for- the connective tissue between Another Green World and Nerve Net. I am lifting off...

The album end with a piece called, "Silence", itself a cribbing of John Cage's "4:33"- the original non-musical, no-sound at all statement. Throughout the 58 seconds of time, one imagines Eno's own wild flipping of Oblique Strategies divination cards, each one restating the original message, "Just Shut Up Already". And so he does, a slave to his own machinations.

We goin' to Niagra Falls!

tlrd Towleroad
BREAKING: New York Legalizes Same-Sex Marriage After Senate Vote of 33-29 http://bit.ly/k3Kee2

California are you watching?

California are you watching? My Santos and I were denied two weeks after Prop Hate. Which coast will we be going to to tie the knot and spend our gay dollars- meager as they are. Niagra Falls, here we come.

Sen. Diaz needs to be educated

Sen. Diaz summer reading list: http://www.amazon.com/Same-Sex-Unions-Premodern-Europe-Boswell/dp/0679751645
NY4M!
Get a hook and pull this bigot off the podium.

36 vs. 26!

Start the dance Stonewall!

EdgeOnTheNet edgeonthenet.com Gay
Saland: I have to define doing the rt thing as treating all persons with = and that equality includes within the def. of marriage #ny4m

doing the RIGHT THING

Thank You Sen. Saland! You are correct. You have done the right thing. NY4M!

Sen. Saland a yes?

It sure sounds like it. Moments away from history.

Wow!

Mike Signorile
MSignorile Mike Signorile
Seland is swing vote. If he votes yes, the bill passes. #NY4M

MaddowBlog featuring the Marriage Equality Vote in NY

Watch it now at http://maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com/

20th Anniversary Year for Boys' Entrance

It was 20 years ago that I first traveled to San Francisco and visited my friend Jon Ginoli. Jon had just returned from our old stomping grounds, Champaign/Urbana, Il. where he had just recorded the first Pansy Division demos. Jon first knew me as the boyfriend of one of his fellow DJs at WPGU radio- the campus radio station at the U of I. I had demos for my band, Talltrees in rotation at the station. I believe I was the first queer musician Jon ever knew. We both worked together at Discount Records and I think at Record Service too. We also worked together at The Bar, where I worked the coat check, and he spun records. And yes, Jon and I briefly "dated". Improbably, that started after a few cocktails and seeing Ultravox at Mabels Nightclub.

I sat on Jon's bed and he played me the demos- and I just laughed and laughed. We both did. The songs were so funny, and baldly in-your-face. It was the shock of the NEW! Even though I had never been in a closet as a musician, it was Jon who showed me a different way of writing. He really tore away the ambiguous pronouns and cloaked meanings. He put it out there. He wrote about "The Cocksucker Club". I actually contributed a small lyrical change to that song. He wrote about doing it in "your parent's King-sized bed". I said, "No, that should be changed to "Queen-sized bed". We laughed some more and he agreed. Later he re-recorded the lyric with my change.

As soon as I got back to Chicago, I was driving West on Belmont Ave. and I drove past a school with these words carved in stone above the door, "Boys Entrance". I thought to myself, "that sounds like a band I should be in." Soon thereafter, I found a keyboard that could record sequences. It enabled me to layer parts together in pre-production for the first Boys' Entrance album, "Exit or Entrance". I recorded it and released it in 1991.

The first album has never been released as a cd, and I am very excited to announce that I am re-releasing it as a 20th Anniversary edition later this year. It feels like a fitting bookend and commemoration of Boys' Entrance.

I will also be recording new material with Mike Ferro and M@ Ramage for release as a single or as part of a compilation album. So watch and start spreading the word. It is the 20th Anniversary of Boys' Entrance!

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

The stories we tell ourselves are the myths we come to believe about ourselves and the world around us (Is the actually a World around us?).

When I was a boy and was forced to go to Boy Scout camp, where there was a myth about the Polliwog Man. I was terrified. I was especially terrified because one day I was walking along a path, and the plants beside the path rustled. I crouched down, and reached out. I parted the plants to see what was doing the rustling, and there he was, looking much like the Creature From The Black Lagoon- THE Polliwog Man! I screamed and ran. Camp from then on, was a place of panic and fear, and separateness.

My imagination was that powerful. The myth, conjured for me was that potent. The reality was palpable. For me, the Polliwog Man existed, and I told my troupe leader so. I am sure he thought I was too far gone to be helped. I was likely a burden to him. I am certain he wanted me gone as much as I wanted to be gone. Sometimes, the irrational beliefs of the visionary/touched/not-right make others wary, cautious, or just plain annoyed.

Now at the age of 54, I am writing about this for the first time. I can do so because I am fairly certain the Polliwog Man does not exist, and because I think there is something real in this story which speaks to the role of fantasy, delusion, myth, and magic in our lives. It is a tangled ball of string to me, my life, my perceptions- the real, the un-real. I have attempted not to judge it- allow myself to be "special", to entertain magic in my life. But internalizing it for 42 years has complicated the magic. It darkened. The memories are mired in thought and interpretation. I still see his face in the brush, clearly; but there are 42 years of strata piled on top of the image. Beneath it all are feelings of wonder and terror.

GAY ROCK star vs. gay ROCK STAR?

The shows that I did with Boys' Entrance in 2010 and so far in 2011 have gotten me to start thinking and reassessing. This is the twentieth year of Boys' Entrance, a period where I single-mindedly pursued rock music for gay people. I wanted to provide music and lyrics that spoke to our unique perspectives, needs, and experiences. But I have been feeling increasingly bridled.

In college, I took a creative writing class (got an A+!). The course taught me, "Write What You Know". That dictum has been my guiding light throughout my musical career. The course taught me that even in the intensely personal is a universal message, and that is the lesson I have clung to even as I spilled my guts on the most personal details of my life.

That was made easier by the thought that I was speaking to people like me first and foremost. The straights were incidental. But I did find that my music did cross over occasionally and some straights did pick up on it. I was blessed to work with straight friends who helped me produce the music I heard in my head. I am so grateful to those straight-but-not-narrow allies: Tom, Greg, Glass, Jeff, Vojo, Kurt, and Larry.

Here's the thing. I am feeling that what I want now is to be thought of as a gay ROCK STAR, more than a GAY ROCK star. The sound Mike Ferro and I are producing is ROCK. Yes, it is steeped in androgyny- like any good GLAM band is. But it ROCKS. Frankly, mos gays are not into it. They are made to believe they should be into dance and pop- or maybe that is what they actually like?

It has always been so. Broadway queens, Disco bunnies, House honeys, Techno twinks. It has always been so. There too have always been queens who rocked: Little Richard, Freddie Mercury, Elton John, Rob Halford (and countless closet cases and near-Missies).

I will not change my pronouns. I will not change my content to fit it. I am only changing my self-definition from GAY ROCK star to gay ROCK STAR.

"David Bowie Is Dead"

David Bowie is Dead c 2010 Tim Cain

David Jones lies in repose
On his chaise in his New York flat
A neural-jack clipped to his brain
The first such permanent connection
Of a comatose rock star and the Internet
On Bowienet again today
No Re’pondez, s’il vous plait
There’s nothing more to say, but
David Bowie is dead

His holographic self accompanies his wife
Down carpets red, and flashing lights
Collect his image pale and white
The transmissions are exhausting
So he requires a lot of rest
On Bowienet again today
No Re’pondez, s’il vous plait
There’s nothing more to say, but
David Bowie is dead

There’s been a lot of buzz
That the Spiders might regroup
If the programming is successful
Dave and Ronno’s holograms
Backed by Trevor, Woody and Mike
On Bowienet I read today
“Virtual Reality Tour” has been announced
The tour need never end, though
David Bowie is dead

Need I paint a vulgar picture?
One compilation disc too many
“An extra track and a tacky badge”
Though a tour seems a bit far fetched
Stranger things have happened
On Bowienet again today
The announcement finally made
“The Spiders Rise Again” though
David Bowie is Dead

"David Bowie Is Dead"

Dear Readers,
This is not actually the case, but virtually the case, that David Bowie is dead. It is how I feel. His absence is palpable, more than at any time in his career- that is life. It feels like David Bowie is dead to me. I am experiencing a similar kind of grief- believing that there may never be another transmission from his mind.

This is the genesis for my song, "David Bowie is Dead". The song is a sci-fi homage to La Bowie. It explores the possibility that he is on the verge of breaking through a new artistic barrier (just as he was one of the first recording artists on CD). This time, he is imagined "on a chaise in his New York flat, a neural jack clipped to his brain, the first such permanent connection of a comatose rock star and the Internet".

Where as his last tour was called the Reality Tour, he is now being prepared to go on the Virtual Reality Tour- with Ronno. Has the technology progressed enough to keep the dying alive, and bring the dead back to life? In my song, it has.

I hope you enjoy it. http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_8157018

Dorothy' Last Fling-Boys' Entrance{cover of chainsaw kitten's}

This is the first song we did at ABSOLUTE Fringe on Jan. 30th. The video was shot by my husband, Santos, but the microphone on the camera phone was overwhelmed by the sound. So there was a video shot of the second show on Mar. 27th, and Brett Basil took the audio and fused it to the video. Now we have a really cool video of this cover of one of my favorite Chainsaw Kittens songs, "Dorothy's Last Fling". I hope you like it.

ABSOLUTE Fringe finale

I have to say, I had a wonderful time at ABSOLUTE Fringe again. I loved all the acts that played, and I was so comfortable at the club. The Elbo Room was so friendly and supportive. The acts all enjoy playing there. The sound was good, and the rooms feel intimate and coccoon-like. It is a kind of incubator for bands. It was also an incubator for ABSOLUTE Fringe. But the festival has run its course.

I spent a quarter of 2011 producing ABSOLUTE Fringe. Actually, it all started in November. The festival did not catch fire. I was hoping to get some sponsorship that would have enabled advertising. That didn't happen. I tried to incorporate bands that had followings. That didn't help. I tried to lock into the lesbian community. Not so much.

We were blessed to have Tret Fure from Wisconsin, Shawn Thomas from Florida, and The Fundamentalists from Detroit. These artists traveled the furthest- for little money. But their support and their generosity was even greater.

Mr. Scott Free was a huge contributor, both in planning and in performance. But I thanks each and ever performer: Amy Delicious, Elen Rosner, Stewed Tomatos, Kristin Lems, Congress of Starlings, Shoes for Mabel, and The Joans.

Mike Ferro and I are moving forward together and will be working on new material for Boys' Entrance. So stay tuned and see what comes of it.

I want to tell you that I have learned a lot. But the biggest lesson I learned is how supportive and helpful people can be. The artists who participated and the club built my faith in humanity back up. I thank each and every one of them.

Tim Cain, March 2011

ABSOLUTE Fringe- It is harder than it looks.

Ok, as far as the Elbo Room goes, they are happy to have ABSOLUTE Fringe booked. We are at least doubling their normal Sunday night turn-out. That said, their normal Sunday night turn-out is sad.

It was my hope that since I had no budget to promote the shows via the normal outlets- advertising in magazines. I would try and get press in said magazines. I am grateful to Gay Chicago for a COVER story, and Windy City Times for a feature. But it had no appreciable effect.

The bands are not able to get people to show up for the shows. We have had great talent for each show, and I have been so proud to feature each and every act, but they generally don't draw. Even an established act like The Joans didn't draw. If each member of the band had brought one friend out, the turn out would have been better.Instead Jennifer Joans gave not much more than attitude and demanded, "didn't you send out emails? I didn't get one." (Never mind the fact that I had never met her and she wasn't a contact for the band. As far as I am concerned, Jennifer Joans is box office poison. And while I am at it, what was with the poster that they created that didn't even mention the event? What more evidence is needed to prove that there is no Joan in team?)

I tried to have a lesbian themed night. Fewer people showed up for that night. Even having a major national act like Tret Fure that night had no effect. Who knew lesbians were so interested in the Oscars? (But what crappy timing to have a gay-themed music night opposite the Oscars!)

April's show has had to be shifted due to it landing on Easter, and the club will be closed. May would have been moved also because it lands on Memorial Day weekend AND International Mr. Leather competition. Then June was going to coincide with Pride Weekend. Now that might seem good, but the issue there was that it is the last night of Pride Weekend, and people would have been exhausted by the weekend of partying, not raring to go to one more late night.

For these and many more reasons (competition for bookings with other queer showcases, scarcity of queer acts, recording sessions coinciding with our program), I have decided the April show will be the last ABSOLUTE Fringe.

It is disappointing, but I did my best to present a quality LGBT showcase. I just think it was too ambitious to try and book 6 LGBT acts per month. I thank each and every act that participated. You were wonderfully supportive and shared your artistry without reservation. THANK YOU!

Tim Cain